call me out of my mind.

I'm really out of my mind.
Maybe sooner or later I'll be the Isabella Swan that is an adrenaline junkies and jumped from the cliff.but there will be no Jacob Black who will drag me out of the water.cause I have no one to rescue me.I'm only of those ordinary girls who think they got the worst life from all.I'm only one of those girls who seek love but never been able to find one.
Or,call it we found it.we thought we found it but we didn't .we thought it will be as beautifull as those love story in love songs.but the real love is painful.
That's what Shakespeare tried to tell us. Even the well-known couple, Romeo and Juliet died for nothing. Love is painful.but we somehow like it,even addicted to it.
Just like those 'drugs'. It is painful and harmful. But if we knew them,we'll be dragged and addicted to it.and I'm addicted to the aadditive love.it's just,I don't have someone to love.even the one who steal my kiss in my dream can't be found. the possibility is 2 to 1500. How? Cause he is Taylor Lautner. And he's in holliwood and hi,I'm in jakarta thousand miles away.call me out of my mind for loving him.but how can I not loved him if he was the boy who kiss me so gentle and so sweet in my dream but felt so so so so real?!
Me myself can feel the texture of his lips.can feel the wetness of his lips and can even reply his kiss.so warm and make me melt every time I think of him.I can't even feel my legs and have to move it to make sure it is there.


I'm really out of my mind to think that I could drag that kiss to the reality world.

Cause the magic for love exist in love story and love songs ONLY.
How can I make it real if the possibilities is 2 to 1500? The. Number maybe not fammiliar for every possibilities.but I'm trying not to make my heart tore apart more than knowing I have no one to love.

I really am out of rational mind to think I'll take him to my arms and making the kissing things real.but I hope the 2 will give me a chance.cause I don't know who I should love.they said love is blind,but bi said,not loving somebody is making you yourself blind you can't see anything when the emptiness strike you.

No matter how I try to put those big smile whenb looking at those descendant of Adam, I can't lie to myself telling I'm going to be loved and loved.
Cause I am so far from it. Too far to join the lovey dovey clan.